The Only Thing We Have To Fear…


What is wrong with all of you?  How can you all walk around so nonchalantly, ridiculously ignoring the danger that lurks everywhere??!!!!! 

Germs!  Everywhere, sinister germs!  Death, at any moment, death could claim you!  Aneurysms, lightning, car, plane, train, bicycle, motorcycle, unicycle, roller-blades (if you are klutzy me), and even bathroom slipping accidents!   All can happen at any time!!

And did you know, that when you are sleeping, ghosts, devils, demons and spirits can haunt you??  Yes!  Even at rest you are in danger!

Strangers can kidnap you, idiots can judge you, you can make mistakes and suffer the consequences and loved ones can get very mad at you for any given reason!!! 

And as if this wasn’t enough to be terrified of, did you know that you can actually be afraid of being afraid????

Yes!!!  I am here to tell you that, indeed, you can!

Oh, Mami, and it is the worst fear of all!

This is the fear that you wind up with when your never-resting Brain 2000 ponders and pokes at the very ends of imagination day in and day out, 24/7!!! 

I like to refer to Ro’s brain as “the super computer”, because I know that he treks the suffering trails that his Mama does…except his Mama is a Mad Hatter, and he is not.  Thankfully.

Anyway, my Brain 2000 never, never rests.  Nothing can stop it.  It goes from “which fruits have cores, and can you name them all??” to “why do they refer to opiates as ‘smack’?? ” –  this happens in a nano-second.  Don’t try to understand it, it just is.  Ro’s Dad used to say, “I can’t understand the way you think!  You go from one thing to the next, and I can’t follow it!”

This is because he is a somewhat “normal” humanoid.  Or as we refer to “those people” in our family -“a straight”. 

Straights can’t grasp it.  We just accept this.  The Brain 2000 is an anomaly.  I don’t want to say “freakish”… okay, it’s freakish, but whatever.

I have made an art out of worrying about worrying.  Sadly, I think I passed this on to Ro. 

At least five times a day he says, “Oh, it’s okay, I won’t worry about worrying!”  This was my tip-off.

With Ro, his Brain 2000 is continuously tormented by seemingly harmless things.  For example, the oven timer counting down  when it’s warming up – this is excruciatingly unbearable. Other things, like whether the car is backed into the parking space or facing forward, can also elicit terror.  And the new one, my favorite – fear of actually uttering the word “helicopter” himself (he got PTSD from one that hovered too close at the Halloween parade last year), even though he loves them and will draw them and enjoys talking about them.  He refers to a helicopter as “that thwacking thing that flies in the sky”. 

Sigh…sometimes, there’s no reasoning with the B 2000.

Sorry, Ro.

As The Snackie says, “When you have smart kids, not much you can do but ride it.”

Y’mama’s right, but hot-damn, it is one wild ride!!