Perfectly Powdered

Organized sports are not for everyone.  This became evident in Ronan’s case, when during his first Kindergarten soccer game, he stood still in the field looking down at the ground, drawing in the air with his fingers. 

I mean still.  Perfectly still.  Oblivious to everything around him.  There was way too much sensory information to sort out, auditory instructions were too confusing, and he just wasn’t having it. 

When the coach prodded Ro to run and kick the ball, there went Ronan “Forest Gump Style” across the entire field kicking and running his heart out.  And there went Mom, chasing after him through all the other games going on (much to the amusement or pity of onlooking parents – like I care anymore).

When I finally caught up to him, explaining and illustrating that he needed to stay in his team’s coned area, meltdown began.

“I want to go to the playground!  I don’t like this soccer!  I want to go!  Can we go!!?”

My baby wasn’t happy “playing” this game.

My baby.

Get my baby off this field.

For a moment, my heart cracked and bled with the realization of just how much of a challenge life is sometimes for this little guy with the “big brain that speaks a unique language” in this cookie cutter social-heavy world. 

Remember the movie “Powder” ?  I think Ro can relate – I know I can.

Powder felt more of everything.  More sadness, more joy, more enlightenment, more empathy – he was just so MUCH – so trying to fit into this world didn’t work out for him.  

Actually, he blew-up out of here like a comet on acid.

Ronan doesn’t have that option.  For one, I’m pretty sure he can’t explode into lightning bolts, casting his uncontainable energy into unknown places.  But also, I am going to do my damn best to instill pride and self-confidence into this child, regardless of how he’s “labeled” by anyone. 

EVERYONE has their challenges and strengths, and I won’t stop exposing Ronan to different experiences that this life holds.  I think I just need to listen to the Powder in him more, and hone in on what he loves, instead of what’s happening with other kids his age. 

Respect for everyone’s likes/dislikes, differences and similarities is important, but it doesn’t matter what they’re doing, because he is beautiful and unique, and what matters is his happiness.

I wouldn’t have any other Ronan.  This one, healthy and happy, is perfectly Powdered – and hopefully, we can make sure that he knows this about himself.

Even if he does feel like an albino genius empath sometimes.


I think we’ll try swimming next.  Maybe he’ll Forrest Gump laps across the pool like a bitch!

(No, seriously, I just want him to experience, be happy and have fun, in whatever way he chooses to ; )


Plus, Powder’s kinda hot.  I’m a sucker for a bald head.