SHIT, BITCH, DIE. THERE, I SAID IT!

Welcome to the new “testing of limits” that we have been experiencing lately! ūüôā

Ro has an uncanny knack of figuring out what really gets to someone, and then he unleashes it on them – sometimes, just to get a reaction for his own amusement, other times it’s to test limits, and then sometimes it’s just to punish your ass when you wrong him! lol

This particular limit-testing (or self-amusement) has been tailored just for Mama’s benefit!

Hmm, you don’t want me to say BITCH? ¬†Ha ha! ¬†Bitch it is! ¬†Shit? ¬†Oh, now I will throw a thousand and one SHITS at you!

Die? ¬†You don’t want me to talk about dying? ¬†I will now shout DIE, DYING and DEATH over and over again (especially at playgrounds where little kids will whip their heads around in reaction, and their parents will give me and my Mama the side-eyed “what you talking about Willis” stare).

I will not even type the new offensive word that he discovered for my shock benefit.  He only said it once, and then I cried, so he really got that saying this one was off the table, thankfully.

What has been working (somewhat) for us is having him go into his room whenever he feels the need to repeat said offending words. ¬†He doesn’t enjoy being limited in his environment, so a timeout in his room will usually curtail the shits and bitches, but oy, it’s a trying time when we have to leave the grocery store (after 20 bitches, shits and dies) before Mama gets the tasty food on her list! ¬†Like Joey…Mama doesn’t share food!!!! ¬†So, this is not a particularly good experience!

Hopefully, you will laugh at my sharing of this someday, Ro, because it is quite funny (but not when I have to leave my Fage in the cart because a Nana in Market Basket is about to flap back onto the linoleum after hearing you yell BITCH at the top of your lungs!).

XOXOXO

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WHAT DO YOU LIKE?

Ro loves this game, and I love playing it with him!  SO amazing to hear what is flying around in that fantastic brain!

Ro:  Mom, what do you like best about yourself?

Mama:  Do you mean how I look or how I am?

Ro:  How you are.

Mama:  I like that I can love a lot.  What do you like best about yourself Ro?

Ro: ¬†I like that I’m nice…and I like my hair.

LOL!!! I’m so in love with him.

I never imagined that we would see the day when Ro was asking and answering such abstract questions. ¬†It’s enough to make a Mama cry like a whiny Caillou!!!

THE BEST DAY EVER

**POST STOLEN FROM OUR OLD BLOG OVER AT THERONANJAMESBLOG.BLOGSPOT.COM.  MAMA IS VERY, VERY LAZY.  VERY LAZY.  VERY.**

I’m pretty sure I have another post entitled, “The Best Day Ever”, but I am blessed with so many of them…what the hell – another Best Day Ever!!!!

We have been witnessing more “brain explosion” here lately. This is how I like to refer to Ronan’s super-learning periods, in which he acquires a huge amount of comprehension in a short span of time.

He’s always advanced like this. I remember two straight years of fervently testing various methods of teaching him how to use the computer mouse (something he desperately wanted to do) and really having no success at all.

Then, one best day, I looked over at him at the computer table. There he was pointing and clicking like he had been doing it as a career his entire life.

It clicked.

And with Ronan, sometimes you can try to help for years, and with every method you can think of, read or learn about, but still…when it clicks, it clicks.

Sometimes, it’s a certain word that turns the click to his understanding, and sometimes it’s just time. Whatever the reason, when a skill that you have been trying so hard to get him to comprehend clicks, it’s just the best day ever.

And not because I want him to be more “normal” or “typical”, but because I know he gets such relief and joy from being able to express his thoughts and feelings to others.

How do I know this?

Well, this is what made the best day ever!

Recently, Ro has been passionate about the Universe. Planets, stars, galaxies, moons…all of it. Did you know about the moon called Callisto? Well, Ro will tell you 10 details about it in 10 seconds!

Anyway, being such an artiste, he decided that he wanted to draw pictures of planets, then scan them, and THEN iron them onto t-shirts for himself and The Loudon to wear. Needless to say, they are awesome, as are all of his creations.

We did a Jupiter shirt for him last week. He was so in love with it, he could barely contain himself – this is something I love so much about Ronan. It’s just so fun to watch him in his excitement over something that others might find so insignificant.

Ronan: MOM!!! I LOVE MY JUPITER SHIRT!!! LOOK AT IT, MOM!!!

Mom: I love it, Ro!!! You did a great job drawing it!

Ronan: (pausing…wheels visibly turning) MOM!!!!!! (quietly incredulous and sighing with relief)…I can TALK to you now, Mom. I can tell you about my feelings. I can tell you how I love Jupiter so much!!!!

Mom: …she isn’t speaking, because she’s crying.

I’m so glad that makes you so happy, Ronan James.

THE BEST DAY EVER!

Tic, Tic, Tic….BOOM!!

This is the sound of Ronan’s¬† brain exploding!!!¬† So amazing, but always with¬†a little trade off…lemme ‘splain…

Major developments have been going on here during this vacation week!  We are seeing vocabulary, conversation skills and question asking at a level that is just unbelievable! 

I never imagined that I would cry when my 6 year-old child asked me a “why” question, but I did.¬† I caught Ro rifling through the bathroom cabinet while he was going potty.¬† If I don’t hear anything in the bathroom for more than a second, I know Senor Scientist is up to something!¬†

Sure enough, he had found an old bottle of blue nail polish that I had under the sink.¬† It escapes me exactly why¬†Mama has¬†blue nail polish, but I think it was from painting an American flag on my big toe for the 4th of July.¬†¬† Don’t ask.¬† Okay, I’ll tell anyway.¬†

This one time, at band camp…no, actually, this one time, while getting a pedicure, the technician told me that she loved painting decorative designs on my big toe…”because there is SO much room to create!”¬†

Yes.  Mama has Sasquatch toe.  Not pretty, but once this was brought to my attention,  as a lover of painting, Mama had to decorate her new canvas in every possible way!

Anyway, after I cleaned him up and informed him that using polishes or paints required Mama’s help, he asked me if he could paint his nails for school tomorrow.

Hmm.¬† While Mama doesn’t gender discriminate, it’s probably not a good idea to wear blue nail polish to school, at least for Ro -too distracting, and he bites his nails.¬† I say no, which leads to the “why” question…

Ronan:¬†¬†¬†¬† “Mom, why I can’t do polish before school?”¬†¬†

Mom:¬†¬†¬†¬† (pauses, then begins to cry) sniff, sniff…”Um, because you bite your nails, and I don’t think it would be good to bite them at school with blue nail polish on them.”¬† Sniff, sniff.¬† Cry, cry.¬†¬† Cry.¬† Cry again.

Wow.¬† this was a hurdle that I have waited YEARS for Ronan to jump.¬† “Why” just opens up so many doors to understanding, and the fact that he gets that abstract concept,¬† enough to ask it now…I am just so excited for him.¬† I know it will lessen so much frustration and anxiety to be able to communicate with this simple word.¬†

Now, for the Debbie Downer…wah, wah, wahhhh…

Unfortunately, whenever Ro has a growth in development, he also has a huge rise in self-stimulatory behaviour – or “stims” as they call them.¬† These stims usually manifest as hyperactivity or repetitive thoughts or actions for Ro.¬† Opening and closing doors, turning light switches on and off, repeatedly worrying or talking about a certain subject – all the norm for him when he is “exploding”.¬†

This time was different. 

There is a certain Baby Einstein movie that Ro got when he was an infant.¬† In the movie, a dragon puppet stares at the screen and then surprisingly grunts “BLAH!”

You cannot imagine the horror that washed over Ro!

Ever since, he has been terrified of all things Baby Einstein.¬† He still won’t even walk by the Dragon Puppet character that he sees at Target on the baby toy shelf!¬†¬†

Imagine my surprise when he started repeating “BLAH” over and over again during his growth spurt.¬† Blah here, blah there, blah everywhere.¬† At first we were shocked that he wasn’t afraid of saying it!¬† Then, we got intensely aggravated listening to blah over and over and over again.

Another stim?  No, a tic.  An uncontrollable tic, interspersed with grunting and bearing down of his stomach muscles.  Oh, lovely. 

What was particularly awful, was that he was so bothered by doing it.¬† He wasn’t so much afraid of the word anymore, he was afraid of not being in control of his tics.¬† He’d say “BLAH” about 20 times, and then he’d say, “Mom.¬† I’m alright, right?”¬† And he’d whine a little bit.¬† So completely painful for Mama to watch.

I think downplaying it makes it seems less nerve-wracking for him, so I take the “no big deal” approach.¬† “When you’re ready to stop saying ‘blah’, you will, Ro.”¬† This seems to help, but he goes and goes and goes with the blah, for days on end.

Mama does what Mama does best.¬† Research!¬† It seems that surpressing tics mostly makes it worse, so I allow blah times.¬† You can say blah for 30 minutes before bed, but not in the Aquarium.¬† You can say blah while bathing, but not at school, etc.¬† Sometimes, I ignore the in between blahs, and sometimes I call it to his attention that it’s bothering Loudon (it drives the Lowie crazy!).¬†

My brave¬†Ro.¬† Not only does he have to weather the anxieties of Autism, but now do¬†we have to add Tourette’s to the mix? .¬† When I think of my last post about “curing” or not “curing” Autism, I just have to say…WTF??!!!¬† I see my baby in pain, and it’s not society not accepting him as an idividual, or me wanting him to conform or change him…It’s TAKE AWAY PAIN CAUSED BY MY CHILD’S MISFIRING NERVOUS SYSTEM!!!!¬† Any Ro pain saved is happiness all around – and not for us, not to save us “blah” aggravation, but to see my child not suffer.¬† Cure, shmure, call it what you want!¬† I don’t care if you call it 3 baboons asses and a can of beer!¬†

ANYTHING to see my child not suffer for one second more than he has to. 

Okay, stepping off my soapbox now.  Blue nail polish pilfering, blah repeating, whatever, let me just say that I am so interested to see what other new developments this recent brain explosion brings!!

You go, Ro!  Blah!

¬†Here are¬†my babies at the Aquarium today…

 photo_022209_008

Listen parents!¬† These are the¬†things you take for granted when your 4 year-old drills you with the “WHY” over and over again!