I Don’t Live in Darfur

My tic post got some Mamas to thinking, including myself.  What do you all use to keep going?  When you have had the WORST day, kids are miserable, relationships are in the can, financial situations are laughable, parents are…well, parents and everything is just going to pot…what motivates you to keep going?  How do you pick yourself up when you want to bitch slap everyone,  curl up into a ball and then just shut everything out?

My big sister, Snackie, has an unbelievable way of seeing the positive in EVERY situation, so  much so, that I want to bitch slap her sometimes.  She never gets defeated, and she always makes me see that I’m not ruined either – I want to double bitch slap her at first, then I know she’s right, and I love her for it.

My other big sis, The Tray, repeats this phrase every time someone complains about anything…”Did you know that every 2 minutes a woman is raped in America?  And I bet she was wishing she got your flat tire today instead of that stick up her butt!”  …excuse the graphic description, but that’s The Tray, and I love her for that, too…never have to guess with that one.

What I like to do is remember that there are people who live in third world countries that are suffering SO unimaginably – I am really lucky, no matter what is going on in my life, compared to them.  I don’t live in Darfur!!  Have you seen what’s going on there???  There are no parallels with Darfur to our children with challenges, divorces, bankruptcies or seasonal depressions!!  You die there!  First, you suffer immensely, watch your children suffer, have no home and watch your family die.  Then you die. 

So, as The Tray says, “Suck it up!”

Here’s my six year-old son’s wonderful way of looking at the situation when he is upset.  “I can think of my happy things, Mom!” 

Seriously, where is he from?  This is what he typed up, to remind him of what he can think of when he is sad or angry…


What makes Ronan happy?

Eating chips

My toys

Reading maps and reading books

I like to sit on chairs

Taking pictures

Jumping with the jump rope

Playing computer

Feeding fish

My books in library

Going to the rocket

Sitting on couches

Counting with Numbers

Drawing with crayons

Having a Story

Drinking water

I take a bath

Snuggling in bed


My Ro…the little things, and he is wiser than most.


Ronan’s BLAH Rules! Guest-Blogging… RO!

This post is a request by Ro, and I quote, “Mom, can you write my BLAH rules on WordPress?”  LOL

Okay, Ro, here’s your rules (he’s helping me make them up and type them!)

1.     Ronan Can Say BLAH in his bedroom.

2.     When Ronan is done saying BLAH, he can come out into the living room.

3.     At school, Ronan needs to listen to the directions.  When he says BLAH too much, he might not hear Mrs. C. or Mrs. S give directions.

4.     Lowie is afraid of BLAH.  Ronan loves Lowie, and he doesn’t want him to be scared.

5.     When Ronan is saying BLAH too much, that means he can find something else to do.  He can ask Mom for help finding something to play, or he can find something all by himself!


Hope that helps, Ro! 

Now, he wants to type…


I can do giant anteater dance on the globe. 

I do light switches in home dont do it at school.

 thwacking is like a man in a roller coaster.

Mom does the phone when we talk in numbers on there.

I can fly on an airplane.

I can play clothes in closets.

I play computer when you go home or school.


Ronan said, “See!  I typed things that I am happy about!” 

And “thwacking”  = a helicopter! lol  He hates saying the word helicopter, because he got scared of one that flew too low at the Halloween parade.

And, um, Maybe Mama talks on the phone too much?!  LOL


Tic, Tic, Tic….BOOM!!

This is the sound of Ronan’s  brain exploding!!!  So amazing, but always with a little trade off…lemme ‘splain…

Major developments have been going on here during this vacation week!  We are seeing vocabulary, conversation skills and question asking at a level that is just unbelievable! 

I never imagined that I would cry when my 6 year-old child asked me a “why” question, but I did.  I caught Ro rifling through the bathroom cabinet while he was going potty.  If I don’t hear anything in the bathroom for more than a second, I know Senor Scientist is up to something! 

Sure enough, he had found an old bottle of blue nail polish that I had under the sink.  It escapes me exactly why Mama has blue nail polish, but I think it was from painting an American flag on my big toe for the 4th of July.   Don’t ask.  Okay, I’ll tell anyway. 

This one time, at band camp…no, actually, this one time, while getting a pedicure, the technician told me that she loved painting decorative designs on my big toe…”because there is SO much room to create!” 

Yes.  Mama has Sasquatch toe.  Not pretty, but once this was brought to my attention,  as a lover of painting, Mama had to decorate her new canvas in every possible way!

Anyway, after I cleaned him up and informed him that using polishes or paints required Mama’s help, he asked me if he could paint his nails for school tomorrow.

Hmm.  While Mama doesn’t gender discriminate, it’s probably not a good idea to wear blue nail polish to school, at least for Ro -too distracting, and he bites his nails.  I say no, which leads to the “why” question…

Ronan:     “Mom, why I can’t do polish before school?”  

Mom:     (pauses, then begins to cry) sniff, sniff…”Um, because you bite your nails, and I don’t think it would be good to bite them at school with blue nail polish on them.”  Sniff, sniff.  Cry, cry.   Cry.  Cry again.

Wow.  this was a hurdle that I have waited YEARS for Ronan to jump.  “Why” just opens up so many doors to understanding, and the fact that he gets that abstract concept,  enough to ask it now…I am just so excited for him.  I know it will lessen so much frustration and anxiety to be able to communicate with this simple word. 

Now, for the Debbie Downer…wah, wah, wahhhh…

Unfortunately, whenever Ro has a growth in development, he also has a huge rise in self-stimulatory behaviour – or “stims” as they call them.  These stims usually manifest as hyperactivity or repetitive thoughts or actions for Ro.  Opening and closing doors, turning light switches on and off, repeatedly worrying or talking about a certain subject – all the norm for him when he is “exploding”. 

This time was different. 

There is a certain Baby Einstein movie that Ro got when he was an infant.  In the movie, a dragon puppet stares at the screen and then surprisingly grunts “BLAH!”

You cannot imagine the horror that washed over Ro!

Ever since, he has been terrified of all things Baby Einstein.  He still won’t even walk by the Dragon Puppet character that he sees at Target on the baby toy shelf!  

Imagine my surprise when he started repeating “BLAH” over and over again during his growth spurt.  Blah here, blah there, blah everywhere.  At first we were shocked that he wasn’t afraid of saying it!  Then, we got intensely aggravated listening to blah over and over and over again.

Another stim?  No, a tic.  An uncontrollable tic, interspersed with grunting and bearing down of his stomach muscles.  Oh, lovely. 

What was particularly awful, was that he was so bothered by doing it.  He wasn’t so much afraid of the word anymore, he was afraid of not being in control of his tics.  He’d say “BLAH” about 20 times, and then he’d say, “Mom.  I’m alright, right?”  And he’d whine a little bit.  So completely painful for Mama to watch.

I think downplaying it makes it seems less nerve-wracking for him, so I take the “no big deal” approach.  “When you’re ready to stop saying ‘blah’, you will, Ro.”  This seems to help, but he goes and goes and goes with the blah, for days on end.

Mama does what Mama does best.  Research!  It seems that surpressing tics mostly makes it worse, so I allow blah times.  You can say blah for 30 minutes before bed, but not in the Aquarium.  You can say blah while bathing, but not at school, etc.  Sometimes, I ignore the in between blahs, and sometimes I call it to his attention that it’s bothering Loudon (it drives the Lowie crazy!). 

My brave Ro.  Not only does he have to weather the anxieties of Autism, but now do we have to add Tourette’s to the mix? .  When I think of my last post about “curing” or not “curing” Autism, I just have to say…WTF??!!!  I see my baby in pain, and it’s not society not accepting him as an idividual, or me wanting him to conform or change him…It’s TAKE AWAY PAIN CAUSED BY MY CHILD’S MISFIRING NERVOUS SYSTEM!!!!  Any Ro pain saved is happiness all around – and not for us, not to save us “blah” aggravation, but to see my child not suffer.  Cure, shmure, call it what you want!  I don’t care if you call it 3 baboons asses and a can of beer! 

ANYTHING to see my child not suffer for one second more than he has to. 

Okay, stepping off my soapbox now.  Blue nail polish pilfering, blah repeating, whatever, let me just say that I am so interested to see what other new developments this recent brain explosion brings!!

You go, Ro!  Blah!

 Here are my babies at the Aquarium today…


Listen parents!  These are the things you take for granted when your 4 year-old drills you with the “WHY” over and over again!

My Sensory Seeking Lad!


Admit it, bitches!  You all wish you could wear an electronic helmet while bouncing on a giant blue ball and eating Rice Crispies.  You know you do.


And you also wish that you could climb up onto the huge mountain of dirty clothes in your Mom’s laundry closet wearing nothing but your tighty whities.  Yes you do.

Do you see why I love?





Autism has its own section!!!

Thanks Obama,

Love from Mama!


Six New Autism Insurance Reform Bills Introduced

Kansas, Massachusetts, Missouri, Mississippi, Utah and Washington have kicked off their 2009 legislative sessions with the introduction of autism insurance reform bills, joining New Jersey, Michigan and Virginia, which currently have active bills making their way through their respective state legislatures. All nine bills are supported and endorsed by Autism Speaks, and require private insurance companies to provide coverage of medically necessary, evidence-based autism therapies, such as Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Each bill has been referred to a committee and is awaiting a hearing. For more information and to take action on these bills, click the following links: Kansas — “Kate’s Law (Senate Bill 12); Massachusetts — House Bill 0067_001; Missouri — Senate Bill 167; Mississippi — House Bill 720; Utah — “Clay’s Law” Senate Bill 43; Washington — “Shayan’s Law” (House Bill 1210, Senate Bill 5203).

Green Please

Do we need any more reasons to clean up our planet?