Mama Nature vs. Mama Gillis!

We are coming out of our back porch, trying to get to the car over a huge snow and ice wall.

I am holding the back of Ro’s jacket in one hand and the back of Lowie’s in the other.   We are being so careful…step…step…pause…step…

SWOOP!!!!  There go both of the boys feet out from under them simultaneously!!  I have such a death-grip on them, and I swing them up into the air so fast, so that they won’t hit the ground – well gravity doesn’t like this for Mama – and my ass slams down onto the ice shelf so violently that I could swear I heard my tailbone scream. 

Surprising, seeing all of the canned ham protective padding I have down there…

Anyway, lightning bolts of pain are shooting throughout my butt and surrounding area, and both of my kids are shaken up, but fine, so all I can think about is, “HA!!  Mama Nature!!  You weak ass bitch!  Don’t mess with Mama Gillis!  I will WIN!!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Score one for Mama Gillis!

Mama Nature – ZERO

bitch

Of course, you know Mama Nature is gonna send me a one two punch of a storm on Saturday night for this!!

See, Mama ain’t no fool!

http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/newsroom/newsdetail.html?key=1861&svr=http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu&table=published

Us Quacks are gaining quackability!

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/video/?clipId=2973672&topVideoCatNo=75393&c=&autoStart=true&activePane=info&LaunchPageAdTag=homepage&clipFormat=flv

The Loudon of the Day

I am getting ready for New Years.  I actually shower and do my hair and make-up.

The Loudon:   Mom?  What’s wrong with your lips?

Mom:  What do you mean, Lowie?

The Loudon:  They’re all red!!  Are they hot??!!

Mom:  What??!!!  No, Lowie, that’s just my red lipstick! 

The Loudon:  Well, don’t kiss me with that yucky stuff!  I don’t want to get burned!

biglowie1

Witness The Loudon checking out the chicks on the first day of Pre-school.  Somehow, I don’t think he’ll mind red lipstick in 10 years or so.

The best…Ronan’s response…

Mom:  Ro.  What’s different about Mom today?

Ronan:  (glancing over at me for a split second)   Lips.  Hair. 

LOL!

I am alive!

El Diablo did not kill me last night! 

I did have some great vivid dreams though, involving a couple of hot ex-boyfriends from my young days…yeoooowwww…then Ro woke up at 5 am right when I was about to travel to Spain on a private jet with one of them.

Sigh…oh, well, at least I survived.   Back to my Explorer in the suburbs.

5-htpee your pants with nightmares!

I love a natural alternative for something that’s ailing you.  When Ro got his diagnosis at 16 months, I started researching like a Mad-Mama on crack for anything and everything that would help with some of the digestive problems that he was having – a common problem for many on the spectrum.

We found natural alternatives to prescription medicine for constipation, runny poopies, gas, yeast, thrush and everything else under the sun that your gut might be suffering from.  See my post on coconut and kombucha for two of our favorites that we still use.

After we got Ronan moving (so to speak) with that issue, I resolved to tackle the sleep deprivation that we all were suffering from – another ASD commonality. 

We tried magnesium citrate, which is supposed to calm one down, but instead, Ro bounced off the walls well into the wee hours of the morning.  We tried melatonin, and this worked at first, but then it wore off after an hour or so of sleep, and Ro was whiny and grumpy the next day. 

I got the advice to try 5-htp, an amino acid that supposedly  boosts serotonin without all of the nasty SSRI side effects.  I was too afraid to give it to Ro, but I filed it away for future possibilities anyway. 

I have been reading more about it this disgusting winter, because I have a nice little case of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) going on.  Hmm, 5-htp might help with this, AND it’s reported to help with appetite suppression and sleep, too!  Mama likey!

I went to Whole Foods yesterday and bought some.  Last night before bed, I took a small dose.   I had a nice night with the boys, and we all fell asleep peacefully.  A short time later, I was awoken by SATAN hovering over me. No, it wasn’t Ro or Lowie having a night terror, it was the actual SATAN with horns and hooves, sitting on my chest and bellowing demonic things into my face. 

After a couple of horrifying minutes of crying desperately for someone to help me, I woke up in a sweat with my heart racing.  Ok, it was just a nightmare – the most vivid and terrifying one I’ve ever had, but still, a nightmare.  Babies were okay, so I went back to sleep.

A few minutes later, I was being chased by a very angry Indian dwarf, whose one very insistent goal in life was to kick me repeatedly in the shins.  No idea what I did to him, but it was not good.

After I outran the pissed-off small person, I was bombed in Target by KGB agents in giant bug-like helicopters, got stuck in a basement with 10,000 blood-sucking “Food of the Gods” size ticks, lost Ronan and Loudon repeatedly in a maze of gray hallways, and for the grand finale, my mother’s ghost, complete with fangs and yellow eyes, crawled out of my bathtub “The Ring” style. 

Hmm, Mama missed the little section that listed nightmares as one of the brief side-effects that should improve within a week or so.  They suggest lowering the dose if you experience vivid dreams. 

  I guess Mama needs to lower the dose tonight. 

If I make it through without heart failure, I’ll let you know who tries to kill me tonight in the morning.   If it actually works to help with bitchy, Winter-hating Mamas who have to lose a few pounds, it might be worth a few nights of visits from El Diablo!!

eldiablocaliente_vector

 

natrol_5htp_200er

Try it, if you dare!!!!

SWEET! I am the healthiest Mama alive!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,477434,00.html

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